So, the dating.

Will I ever be totally comfortable with it? I'm guessing not. I'd kind of like to fast forward to the homey, secure part of the relationship, but not miss the zippy butterflies that come with a new infatuation. Is that possible? I got a practical lesson in first dating about two and a half weeks ago with the speed-dating I mentioned back then (I had computer issues, a new one is on its way, and yes I realize it took me a long time to get one), and I must admit that it wasn't wholly unpleasant. In fact, I had much more fun than I thought I would.

When I first walked into the bar, the girl running it said that they were going to wait 10 or 15 more minutes for people to get there. It had been raining, and we all know that slows people down. Or something. I can't remember if I mentioned how I got convinced this was a good idea, but the short version is that my former roommate (no falling out, just life) forwarded me a Groupon for it, positing that it could be not only good for my love life but good for my blog. She sensed I needed help. She was right. So anyway, it was a good deal, and she had a point, so I bought it and then a short four months later actually used it. Back from the tangent now, what this basically meant was that you had a barful of adults wearing nametags who would soon be engaged in something a lot of people will either never try or never admit to having done. No, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter.

I did my best saunter up to the bar to get myself a beer, which turned out to be a very good idea since essentially talking for an hour straight tends to dry the throat, and then did my best to look like I was cool and casual rather than slightly awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, I managed to catch the eye of an attractive blond . . . girl, who invited me over to chat with her and another girl, a brunette. We were the tallest women in the room, with me the absolute tallest, which I found a little surprising. I mean, I know most women like a tall man, and would've expected more women 5'9" and taller, but maybe they all already have boyfriends or something. What resulted in any case was you had me and my two friends, and then a bunch of 5' tall girls. Did I not mention that this was a speed-dating event specifically for men 6'1" and over? I may offend some people here, but if you are 5'0" you have no business dating a guy who's more than a foot taller than you. It's not fair for the tall girls, nor for the little Napoleons. Really, who are they supposed to date? Maybe I'm size-ist, but there you go.

So the event actually starts, and it was surprisingly fun. I felt like I was on the attractive end of the spectrum of attendees, and since everyone's doing the same thing, no one can judge you for it. Yes, I do rationally understand that I only think strangers are judging me in my everyday life and they are actually not, but it's the same insecurity that made my mom so embarrassing when I was a kid, so we're just going to try to work around it. Here's the cast of the most memorable characters:

The 1st guy- When he sat down I thought to myself, "If this is how the night's going to go, then the only number I'm going to want is Caitlin's (the blonde from the pre-date wait)". Judgmental, I know, and we did end up having a nice conversation, so I was sad I had judged him, but he did kind of look like a hobbit. Indie Hobbit.

The 1st guy I liked- Frank is a trained architect. He's cute, smart, and really open. Was a nice normal guy and seemed pretty genuine.

The guy that got away- We mutually agreed that we were interested when you go online afterward and pick the people you liked. I was psyched. This guy was crazy cute with McDreamy hair, and actually is a doctor. But, he had sweat stains on his underarms, so he was just far enough from perfect that he was actually likeable. I emailed him. I haven't heard back. It's okay though, I've been distracted from the pain.

The creepy guy- You had to know there was going to be one. It's speed-dating in New York. The guy claims to be in his mid-30's, but I'm pretty sure the pock-marked face belies a more extensive personal history. Which he delved right into as soon as he sat down. I guess maybe he thought he'd distinguish himself from the other guys by dispensing with the pleasantries. He did.

The jackass guy- You had to know there was going to be one. It's speed-dating in New York. This guy's opening line was something like, "Tell me why I should give you 200 points right now." That's right, rather than trying to remember qualities of the women, he thought he'd just assign everyone a point value. I responded, "Well, I won't call you a jackass to your face for asking me that." I thought it was a good reply. And I got the points. For reasons you might be able to guess, I didn't end up interested. It's one thing to try to hook someone's attention with an out-there line, but eventually you have to be real to keep it.

The last guy- Didn't seem like he was interested. When we were hanging out at the bar afterward, he admitted he just really had to pee. That I can understand. Travis was easy to talk to though, and it turns out he was interested. I was too. He's fun, not a bull-shitter, and a smart guy.

There were some other guys there too, but like I said, these were the most mentionable. The two I gave names to you'll hear more about, but I'm getting tired of typing so it'll have to be later. But I'll toss in something about my dad and his new foray into match-making. New computer comes in a few days, so hopefully I won't keep you waiting too long for an update. Have a good night!

Well good for you!

Hi weary waiters. For the two of you that read the blog, I'm sorry it's been so long. I find that when I have nothing to do, I do nothing most of the time, so it was a pretty dry summer for dating. I took a couple of trips, went to a wedding, visited my family, and hung out in the city, so it was a lovely summer despite the lack of men.

I did have one brief encounter. Very brief. But it was not the kind of encounter that leaves you thinking, "I wonder if he's single" but rather, "I wonder why he said that." I led a Habitat for Humanity trip down South, and we stayed in a parish hall. The first evening we arrived our hosts were hosting a meet-greet-and-admire with an artist whose paintings were displayed in the main church building. They let local artists display their stuff for free for a certain stretch of time, requiring in return a single evening of wine, cheese, and metaprocessing the artist's work. Anyway, they were pretty insistent in their politely Southern way, you know, the type of Southerners who follow an insult with "bless her heart" to absolve themselves of any perceived impropriety or slight, so we went over. I was promptly introduced to an elementary school principal who was in the process of growing out his beard in order to play Santa Claus. Apparently it's his yearly May to December ritual. After standard discussion of our shared profession, the first question he asked me was "How tall are you?" I answered, and he said, "I've always liked tall women." Now this is hardly the first time I've been asked the question and heard this response to my answer, but come on. The guy was prepping to play Santa Claus, there were teenagers present, and we were in a church. Really? I don't remember if he went on to discuss why exactly he likes tall women (we can all imagine what he likes them for), because my mind immediately went into "la-di-da-if-I-can't-hear-you-maybe-it-will-be-less-awkward" mode. I don't know if he was envisioning a May-December tryst in August, but I surely was not.

Maybe this seems an odd thing to stick in one's craw (as I think may once have been said in the South), but as many times as I have heard it, I still don't understand a couple of things. Why did you think I needed to know this about you? What do you expect me to say in return? "Thanks"? Is that an appropriate response? How about "me too"? Actually, now that I think about it, that might solve the problem and would at least change the subject. It's just, no matter what you say, that conversation is now dead. Unless you start talking about all the other tall women he's admired I guess, but I don't know many women who would enjoy that line of discourse. So guys, just keep it to yourself, at least until we know each other well enough that if you say something like, "I love that you're so tall", I can respond with a compliment in kind. Because it's not so much the material that's off, but the timing and delivery.

Well, sorry this wasn't a juicier, more interesting post but some time next week I'll have a post for you about -- drum roll please -- speed dating! And if you have any advice on how to be an enticing speed date, please send it along. So long til then!